Election

So it has to come out now because A) everyone is doing it (not just here but everywhere I surf) and B) if I do it now I don't have to for the next good while.

I voted yesterday for Barack Obama. And to be VERY frank, as much as I like the guy, I hope that that is the toughest election decision I will ever have. I really liked both candidates. A lot. And while I am technically a democrat, I have VERY strong opinions either way.

And that's just it. I have OPINIONS. for ME.

Example A: I believe that the Bush Doctrine is horrid and fully do not get it when very conservative christians support the wars and violence. Especially because Jesus said to love one another. Also, He said to love your enemy. That means not hurting them. Turn the other cheek. etc.
That being said, it is my right to have that opinion and other people are fully allowed to have other opinions that work for them. If you support the war against terror, I agree with your right to do so. I may not agree with you personally, but by God we live in a great nation where we can agree to disagree. I support all veterans and those in the armed forces and their families and friends. My father and all of my grandfathers (yes I have 3) were active in the military and/or government during wartimes and I know that I live safely now because of men and women like them, who risked their lives and their families hearts for people like me. I am entirely grateful. But I personally do not believe in attacking entire nations and their affiliates when some stupid exteremists act out.
Also, now is not the time to remind me of 9/11. I am fully aware of the toll it took on our country and had never been so afraid in my life. 

Example B: I do not think that abortion is right for ANY reason other than rape/incest/severe health risks of mother within the first 2 months of pregnancy. Even then, there are exceptions and abortion should NEVER be the first option.

However, I also realize that this is my personal belief and that it is the natural-born right for a woman to have the right to control her own body (and those growing inside of it). Totally legallizing abortion is NOT a mandatory "we hate babies!" law. Women need to be educated about the risks and scare-tactics that abortion clinics use, and also the scare-tactics of those that oppose the right to choose. Let a woman CHOOSE. I have chosen life, for me. I cannot speak for women everywhere in this nation, and a government in DC certainly cannot, no matter what party is in control.

Example C: I believe in higher taxes for better living. I know that privatizing social security, lowering taxes, and providing independant healthcare are wonderful ideals. Really, I do. But we have to face the fact that as a nation, life can SUCK. My mother, brother, and I lived on WIC checks and Food Stamps for a time while I was in elementary school. It's not because my mom was too lazy to work, it was because she couldn't afford both food and healthcare for her cancer treatments. She worked when she could, but eventually had to stop because she had a 24/7 chemo-pack on her and had to use a portable oxygen tank to breathe. And while I hope I never have to put my children through that, the fact that people live like this every day and a government wants to privatize healthcare sickens me.

The United States of America needs to be United. Don't step on the little man because he can't afford to invest money, but don't criticize and envy those who can. Don't tell war protestors that they are socialists, and don't tell Mr. Business that he can't give his employees better healthcare because he runs a successful company.

Unite as a country and stand by your opinions. Just, for the love of all, don't trample the right of everyone to have them.

~~~~~~~~

That being said, I am unsure as to whether or not my sudden-onset of extreme nausea (sorry for the visual) is related to my new meds or the election results. I am terrified of what is going to happen in the next four years. Because now, all I can do is sit back and watch. And pray that everything doesn't kill us.

Either way, the gross feelings haven't really left since yesterday morning.

I'm fairly sure it should just be called "The Hate Disease"

So I have kind of resolved myself to be tested for every medical issue that comes into my life. I am almost a hypochondriac. If I cannot make myself go to sleep in any condition because ofan  illness, I usually resort to the ER for treatment, because honestly, I am REALLY cranky when I am ill, and even crankier when I am tired, and both make me one huge ball of angry.

I will start colonoscopies at age 30. I will start mammograms as soon as insurance will allow them. I will continue to request yearly blood work with my physical, even if it is not required.

So here's the long and short of it: I will, someday, more than likely, get cancer. This does not bother me. It makes me vigilant and determined to find it before it really finds me.

My logic? On my mother's side, there are several documented cases of colon cancer, a case of prostate cancer, some other form of cancer (I am not sure what kind), etc. Most (if not all) of these cases resulted in the death of the afflicted person. To be fair, I do have a few healthy relatives on that side (thank God).  However, the cancer I am speaking of is immediate family, not distant.

On my father's side, we have all sorts of issues. Skin cancers, heart problems galore, and some other things I am sure will eventually be inherited (my great-grandmother had Alzheimer's, but lived well into her 90's!).

I am not hoping to get sick, nor am I particularly trying. I am losing weight, I haven't smoked in over two years, and I know that I have an excellent support network should things turn ugly.

Mostly I am just frustrated. I have known so many people with some variant of cancer that it's a bit terrifying. Not just in my family, but friends, colleagues, relatives of friends, etc. 

~~~~~~~~

My firm belief is that everything happens for a reason. And I also do not believe in mistakes; I would not do anything in life over again, no matter how small.

I did once, however, tell John a secret. That if I could ever do one thing over in the entirety of history, I would have my mother not get cancer.

I am sure that today I am not alone.

Life is settling in.

Big news? Maybe?

After my post about the crazies in my life, I had some time to think. I thought a good deal about it, and prayed. A lot.

And I knew that it was not in God's plan for me to move that weekend, but it certainly wasn't in His plan for me to stay miserable either. And so, I worked up my gumption and did some working out of thoughts. 

My key clue? John (along with many other people) was urging me to get out. And he offered to be my one-man moving crew if it had to be that way. But his toe has been hurting, and that was key. His toe. If he couldn't walk to class without a cane, there was no way I was letting him move my furniture into a third story apartment. Sometimes it is pretty obvious when there is a Message in front of you!

I was able to delay my move in date by a few weeks. And so I have time to recover, time to plan, and time to just be.

~~~~~~~~

Basically:

I am definitely moving.

My new lease starts next weekend, Oct 25. My current one ends Nov 7. That being said, I am not necessarily tied to moving on either of those dates.

To those of you who have offered help and such, I am exceedingly grateful. I have been thinking that, since my current place is a-shambles and will most likely stay that way until I am packed, I will make the process of moving as painless as possible.

My current plan:

1. Get the lease on the day it starts, walk through and work out all of the paperwork. That week I will hopefully start to move things over to my new place, like the loads of laundry I cannot do where I currently am thanks to defunct dryers. Havings lots of space and a washer/dryer will be amazing. Also, I will pack lots.
2. The following weekend (Nov 1st and 2nd), I will probably get a truck and do the major hauling. What day is better- Saturday or Sunday? All requests will be granted as best as possible.
3. I will then spend the next week cleaning and scrubbing my old place and finishing up there.

After all of that, I will be temporarily relocating to my parents' house for house-sitting and will finally be able to settle in around mid-November. And I promise (PROMISE!) to stay put for a long while.

Thank you all so much for your support during this crazy-insano time in my life. I really appreciate it. Also, When I actually settle in, we can have a get-together and rock. :-)

...

T-minus 7 hours until we leave for Indy. Yes, that does mean 3 am and a LOT of coffee.



*i am so excited*

Why i have been gone from the world. Forgive me. I am usually much happier I promise!

Hello world! I have not forgotten you! But here is why I haven't been online and all type-ity lately: my apartment and my job. here are the things:

• I got my apartment. Yes. the first week was hectic but eventually most of the big stuff got moved in and lots of little things were at John's place waiting to come home to me.
• The weekend after the move, John and i went to Maryland to help Mike and Echo with their business (long story short, we were tired and covered with turtle poop. Seriously awesome fun times :-) )
• We cam back to shower off said turtle-poo-i-ness, and find that, despite running the water for half an hour, there is absolutely no hot water.
• At 11 PM, I call maintenance. the guy comes over, hums and haws at the water heater, asks if any circuits have been flipped (none were that I could see), and says he'll come and check on it in the morning. It should be fixed by then, but he'd come back to check.
• Morning: it is not fixed. He comes back, finds a breaker flipped, and switches it on. Success! The heater is making noise of awesomeness, and we are told to wait an hour for a full tank of hot water.
• An hour passes; we are about to leave. John then turns to me and asks if i hear "that dripping noise." I do, in fact, hear "that dripping noise." I open the maintenance closet to find SCALDING HOT WATER pouring out of the valve on my water heater. I grab the first towels i can and try to stop the flooding. After calling them again, the fix-it guys come back and run a hose into my sink to catch the water. they say they need a part from home depot and it will be fixed by this afternoon; john and i leave. the carpet is wet less than an inch out from my closet. Cool.
• We come back at 5 PM to find A QUARTER OF MY CARPET soaking wet. I live in a studio, and all of my furniture has been moved and shoved in unholy places. i cannot access my bed or anything. Also, there is a 4 foot dehumidifier spewing out hot air and 7-10 industrial fans blowing all over my room. The technician in my place says that I should not run the AC for at least 3 days while the fans are there, and should probably run the heat.
• I am FURIOUS. Because I find my good towels outside with the trash, covered in drywall and plumber's solder.
• Also, my baby lamp has been put in the sink and all the molding removed from the baseboards.
• Two days later, I return to a 94 degree room to find my baby lamp shade in the sink, and it has absorbed all of the dirty dish water. because it was upside down on a plate. this thing is as old as I am. i cannot replace it. I am basically about to cry typing this out.
• Finally, on day 4, I got them to comp me for 4 days rent and remove the fans.
• Kelly and Matt and Scott and John and I have an awesome fun party of fun! I make a cake to relieve stress! (Those of you who know me know this: When i am stressed/frustrated I clean or i cook. or both. My apartment was in no state to be cleaned as the molding was still gone, drywall cut out, and carpet still exceedingly grody to the touch).
• We leave for D&D Saturday morning. The hot water worked, because John had a brief shower and I was able to have a clean load of dishes done. So the heater had, at least, been fixed.
• Sunday night after Ren Fest (yay!). I try for a hot shower. No luck, but i only tried for 10 minutes. John suggested they may have put in an automatic shut-off so that if hot water isn't used for 24 hours it shuts down to prevent what had happened a week prior. Sounds logical.
• Monday I try again. After over half an episode of House, there is still. no. hot. water. I call the handyman, and he explains that even if he came over now at like midnight, it still wouldn't get fixed until the next morning. I concede, and let him go back to sleep. I think his wife may have a vendetta out against me.
• Also, John goes to the front desk to complain on my behalf. because he got walked-in on when some random repairmen wanted to fix something without me actually knowing about it first. So John was all my man and yelling for me :-)
• Tuesday, I leave for work, John goes to campus. I come back to complete disarray (not that it wasn't already, but everything that had even a temporary home was moved. i could not access my bed, bathroom, or closet without walking my a spare mattress. I had not safe walkway.) The molding has been replaced, but there are 2 industrial fans blowing at my water heater and the front panel is on top of the thing. So it's an unfinished job in my way. and again, NO ONE TOLD ME TO EXPECT THIS. No phone call, no note, nothing.
• Wednesday i go to class, come back to find my apartment smelling of paint. Do you see a trend? The staff does things (legally) but refuses to let me know they are coming. Also, there is a mysterious HUGE scuff on my wall (not painted over!) and my kitchen floor and closet are covered in drywall. I have to clean this up? NO WAY. *ANGRY*
• I yell at management. I tell them that i am very frustrated that no one even bothered to let me know what was happening (a phone message would have been GREAT. a sticky note. ANYTHING people). The guy said to me, get this, "Well, I was under the impression that you were very difficult to get a hold of. I mean, your boyfriend had to come in here for you." EXCUSE ME I have a phone number on file and work during your exact office hours. leave me a bloody message or note on the fridge. "Oh, well I know *handy man's name* is actually out of notes." Whatever.
• I give him an ultimatum: Either have my apartment totally fixed by tomorrow (including clean carpets) or i am exercising my 30-day love-it-or-leave-it power and moving.
• I came back today from work to find fresh clean carpets. Excellent!

MY DOOR WAS UNLOCKED. I got back, and when i turned the lock, nothing happened. My life is in there. To be fair, nothing is gone, that i can tell. But still....I give them my final word and they can't bother to make sure my stuff is safe? I don't care if it is a "gated" community. They do not guarantee security (it is right there in the lease) and who knows if anyone in my neighborhood is a klepto?

So i got a new apartment. I will be thinking over it lots tomorrow to make sure it is the right thing to do, but really....two weeks of not being able to actually live comfortably (or at all) in my place is pretty durn angrifying.


Mrar.

So who wants to maybe help me move on Sunday?

Pretty amazing!

So a lot of things have been happening lately, and I feel like I should share them. Not because they pertain to anyone really, but because I think I'd like to be able to go back and read this later and remember how incredibly blessed I am.

• After the whole mess with housing, I got an apartment. 
  
• I have been very impatient with people lately, especially myself. And I prayed for patience, and was determined to be calm and have a good disposition throughout the day. It worked!
  
• My boss left without anyone really in charge (except his supervisor and a senior LA, which gets pretty messy with two people working on a one-person job). And yesterday, I got a job interview for a job at a pharmacy! (and secretly, not so secretly, I got hired!)
  

Basically it comes down to this: while my life has been crazy hectic over the past few weeks, everything has fallen into place. I have a good place to live, an awesome family, a great boyfriend, a network of incredibly supportive friends, a job in a field I want to actually go into, and a God who never, ever fails to open windows when the humidity from the tropical storms  jams those doors shut :-)

~~~toodles~~~

APARTMENT!

I got an apartment. I am so incredibly excited.
List of things to do:

• think on everything. pray about it.
  
• organize and pack my life (sparingly; I get the keys next weekend)
• make sure my utilities are totally set up
• recruit man-friends to help
• figure out moving truck dynamics
• talk to John, as he will most likely be in charge for a good deal of the move process.
• talk to the staff at SAS, where I will be training to be a volunteer the actual 3 days I have to move (thus John's in-charginess) to see what timing will be like
  
• plan decorations! because I love paint (or at least the idea of it) and actually being able to nail something into a wall! Oh GMU dorms...
• find a dresser. I have all other furniture basically set, but this seems kind of important. I don't need my delicates laying out for the underwear gremlins, or guests, for that matter.

And that's about it! Wish me luck :-)